


17 Years Late

by thelonglostmarauder



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sparrow Academy (Umbrella Academy), Angst, Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Hurt/Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Sibling Bonding, Soft Diego Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28699563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonglostmarauder/pseuds/thelonglostmarauder
Summary: After avoiding apocalypse #2, Klaus is faced with what grieving is like for the first time. Lucky for him, his siblings went through the same grief 17 years earlier, and are there to help him through it.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone
Comments: 4
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

Who knew stopping two apocalypses would be so exhausting? Everyone was earning some well deserved rest after the chaos that ensued. But, after spending so much time apart, it was hard for any of the siblings to be alone. 

Allison went back to California as soon as possible but made sure to call often. Vanya was also living in her apartment but spent a lot of her free time at the Academy. Everyone else stayed at the Academy. Luther had never lived anywhere else, and Diego was honestly getting tired of living in the backroom of a gym. 

Klaus was staying at the Academy as well. Diego was shocked when he was trying to leave since he didn’t really have anywhere else to go. He eventually gave in, and decided it would be better to stay with everyone. Klaus’s strange behavior definitely didn’t go unnoticed. 

After everything that happened, Klaus wasn’t sure what to do. 

For the first time in seventeen years, he was alone. 

Klaus was knocked out of his train of thought when there was a knock on his bedroom door. 

“Come in,” He said, not bothering to get up from where he was laying on the floor. 

“Hey, you got a minute?” Diego asked as he walked in. Klaus nodded, and Diego sat on the floor, “I wanted to ask you something,” 

Klaus sat up, “Well, of course, brother mine,” 

“When we first met up in 1963, why did you tell us Ben wasn’t there?”

Klaus looked away. He was hoping no one would ask him, but Diego deserved an explanation. Especially since he talked to Ben while he was being possessed. 

“I was being selfish,” Klaus answered. 

“How so?” 

“I thought that if you knew Ben was there, none of you would really talk to me, you would only want to talk to him. I would just become a ghost translator, and nothing else. I’m sorry,” 

Diego was silent for a moment, “I’m sorry for whatever we did to make you feel that way,” 

“Thanks,” 

That’s when Diego really got a look at his brother. It was clear that he hadn’t been taking care of himself. Klaus’ hair was a mess, which he would never let happen. He wasn’t wearing any makeup like he usually did, and all of his nails were chipped. And was it even possible for Klaus to have gotten thinner? 

“Are you alright?” Diego asked gently. 

Klaus put on a small smile but lost it quickly. He couldn’t joke his way out of this situation, “Did Vanya tell you?” He asked quietly. 

“Tell me what?” 

Klaus opened his mouth to answer, and then moved to put his head in his hands. He tried to stifle a sob, but was unsuccessful; Diego still heard him. Diego moved to wrap his arms around Klaus. He had only seen Klaus like this one other time, so he came to a conclusion he didn’t want to. 

“Ben’s gone,” Klaus finally managed to choke out, “He’s gone, and I can’t bring him back. I  _ shouldn’t  _ bring him back, because he deserves to rest, but it’s been so hard. I haven’t been alone for seventeen years, because he’s always been with me. No matter how many times I fucked up, or how many times we fought, he stuck with me and I don't know why.”

“Because he loves you,” Diego said, “And you’re not alone anymore. I know we give each other a lot of shit, but I meant what I said in the barn,” 

Klaus laughed in between sobs, “Who knew stopping the apocalypse would make you all sappy,” 

Neither of them moved for a while. Diego still had his arms wrapped around his brother, and neither wanted that to go away. Klaus hadn’t been comforted like this since- well- Ben. When he was alive. Klaus moved for the first time to turn on the lights as the Sunset. 

“When was the last time you ate something?” Diego asked, and Klaus shrugged in response, “C’mon, I’m sure Vanya will be here by now, we could have a family dinner,” 

“Sounds great,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! If you liked it, stick around for a few more parts!


	2. Chapter 2

There goes his phone. Again. Klaus knew it was Allison. They were the first to find each other in 1963, and it unexpectedly brought them even closer together. He was sad to see her leave, but she had to be with her daughter, there was no question about it. 

If she walked in, Klaus would smile and joke around like they always did. But he just couldn’t bring himself to answer the phone. It was one of those days. 

Judging by the light from his window, it was about midday, and Klaus still hadn’t left his bed. Someone knocked on the door, and he rolled over. Maybe if he didn’t answer they would think he wasn’t in his room. 

It didn’t work. 

The door creaked open, “Hey, Klaus are you here?” Luther. 

“C’mon, I know you’re not asleep,” And Diego. 

“Please, just leave me alone,” Klaus mumbled. He barely had the energy to deal with one person, let alone two. 

It wasn’t often that Luther and Diego saw eye to eye, and this was one of those rare occasions. Klaus just wasn’t himself. 

“We were worried so we came to check on you,” Diego admitted. 

“What am I, five years old? You know I’m older than both of you now, right?” Klaus said as he sat up and leaned against the headboard, "Wow, that's strange to think about." 

“Allison’s been calling you all day, but you haven’t been answering,” Luther explained, “She wanted to know if you were okay.” 

“Yeah, I’m peachy, I’ll give her a call later-” 

“Cut the bull,” Diego interrupted, “You’re obviously not fine, and you shouldn’t be, because you’re grieving.” 

It felt like everything had stopped. No one expected Diego to be that blunt, including Diego. But it certainly couldn’t hurt to just get everything out in the open. 

Diego moved to sit next to Klaus, while Luther continued to stand awkwardly against the wall. 

“Look, we understand, because we lost the same person. Ben was special. Losing him hurt all of us, and basically tore this family apart. You said it yourself, you haven’t been alone for seventeen years, so we’re not gonna let you feel alone now. Even if it just means sitting in the same room as you.” 

For the first time in his life, Klaus was at a loss for words. He wanted to respond to Diego, to say anything, but how could he match that? 

Good thing he didn’t have to, because Five blinked into the room, drawing everyone’s attention. He handed Klaus a plate with a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich, “You missed breakfast,” 

“Thank you,” 

“Listen, I had to grieve for all of you alone. You shouldn’t have to go through that.” 

“Aw Fivey, you do care,” Five just rolled his eyes, “This just really sucks, I don't know how you guys did it.” 

“The pain never really goes away,” Luther confessed, “You just learn to move on.” 

The mix of emotions was almost unbearable. His siblings had never been known to show lots of emotion, and now it was almost overwhelming. Almost. 

“Yeah… have I ever mentioned how much I fucking hate my powers?” The four of them gave a light laugh, “Well, I should probably call Allison,” The three of them left after Klaus agreed to leave his room once he was done on the phone. 

He and Allison had a great conversation. Klaus apologized for not answering, and she told him that he shouldn’t be sorry. She was even making plans to come visit everyone soon. 

It took a lot of effort, but Klaus definitely felt better after talking with everyone and joined his brothers downstairs. He was finally starting to feel like a person again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you've enjoyed! Kudos and comments are always appreciated


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey! Look who’s joining us for dinner,” Diego said as he saw Klaus walk into the kitchen. Diego was turning off the flame on the stove, and Luther and Vanya were setting up the table. Five was fussing over the computer that they were using to have Allison on FaceTime. 

It had been about a week since Klaus had eaten with his family. He hadn’t had much of an appetite recently, so what was the point? But he was in a much better mood after talking with his siblings earlier. 

“Anything I can do?” 

“We’re pretty much ready, just take a seat,” Vanya said. 

Everyone went up to get their food, and Klaus knew it was a mistake to take that much food. They all sat down, and the conversation seemed to flow, not forced at all like it used to be. They weren’t talking about anything in particular, just any fun stories that came to mind. Vanya started talking about one of the students she saw today, and Five asked about her next concert and they all agreed they would be there. 

When they came to a lull, Klaus started to speak up without even realizing, “Can I ask you guys something. You don't have to answer if you don't want to,” Everyone nodded or gave a quick ‘yes’, “How did you handle grieving?” 

Everyone fell silent for a moment, trying to remember how they handled everything from over a decade ago. 

Diego was the first one to respond, “Everyone has their own way of dealing with it. Personally, I took it out on the punching bag.”

“Same here, but I also talked a lot with Allison,” Luther said. 

“I started to write again. I wrote anything I could think of. About Ben, and what I was thinking and feeling.” Vanya said. 

“I tried to remember the good memories. Looking at pictures, and trying to think of how he would help me. I even drew the pair of us a couple of times. And of course, talking helped,” Allison added. 

“I threw myself into reading and research. Trying to figure out a way I could get back to you all and stop everything,” Five said, and then everyone looked to Klaus, waiting for his response. 

Klaus was staring at his mostly full bowl of food. Why did he ask that? That couldn’t have been easy to talk about, “Thanks, everyone. I have a funny relationship with death, so I’m still trying to work all of this out,” 

“Do you want to try talking to us?” Vanya offered. 

Klaus shrugged, “About what?” 

“Anything you want,” Diego said. 

Maybe he should. Talking to his siblings had never been easy for Klaus. Since they were thirteen, they tended to brush off anything he said. Of course, Klaus couldn’t blame them. He dug that hole himself. 

But Klaus had to admit, things were different now. Why not give it a shot?

“I just miss him so much. In the past, I’ve just avoided my problems, brushed them all off, but I can’t really do that here,” He did his best trying to make his voice less shaky. 

All eyes were on him. There was no one trying to talk over him, and everyone was waiting patiently. Guess it was obvious he had more to say. 

“He’s saved me from doing some really stupid shit. It’s amazing he put up with me as long as he did. You said thinking of memories, right Allie? Well, when we were kids Ben really kept me sane with my powers. We both had that struggle of not being able to turn them off whenever we wanted. I don't know how he did it, but he was always able to tell when the ghosts became just too much to handle. He would sit with me, and read to me until I fell asleep. Holding my hand, because the ghosts couldn’t touch me. It was a reminder that I was still alive, and not with them.”

“He was so special,” Vanya said. 

“Oh yeah, and as soon as he found out what my individual training was- wow, I’ve never seen him more mad. Any time I had flashbacks, he knew and helped. I owe him everything.” 

“Maybe we could all share our favorite Ben memories?” Vanya offered. After everyone agreed, she shared first, “Well, me and Ben loved to share each other's hobbies. He used to go on and on about what book he was reading, and he would listen to me play. I tried to teach him once, but it really didn’t go well. Not one note was in tune,” She laughed at the memory. 

“I remember when Dad paired up our training,” Luther said, “Trying to match our powers against each other. Ben could have easily taken me down, but he was always careful not to hurt me.” 

Diego went next, “My favorite memory has to be when we snuck out at fourteen. We nicked some money from the house and went to a movie. We pretended like we were normal teenagers for a few hours,” 

“Ooh, my favorite memory of us was when we were fifteen,” Allison said, “Dad had left, so we had a bit more freedom in the house. I snuck into his room, and we had the best late-night conversation.”

It was Five’s turn next, but he wasn’t making a move to speak up. He shifted when he noticed everyone was looking at him, “I don't know if I have a specific memory. It’s been a long time...”

“That’s okay, Five,” Vanya said. 

“I do remember how kind he was. How he would only use his powers as a last resort, or to save us like he and Klaus did at the Icarus Theater. He was quiet but made sure to keep the peace between us. Between all of us, there was usually a sibling who didn't get along with another, but Ben got along with everyone,”

Klaus smiled. At least now he was equally happy and sad. Since he didn’t help set up, Klaus offered to help clean up with Diego as the others moved to the living room. 

Diego didn’t fail to notice how Klaus barely ate anything, “Hey, are you okay?”

He shrugged, “Just not hungry,” 

“Well, I’m glad you talked to us tonight. You keep a lot close to your chest, but everyone wants to help you,” Diego said, deciding to drop the first question. 

“What do you mean I keep a lot close to my chest?” 

“For starters,” Diego said, dropping his voice, “They still don't know you served in a war for a year,” 

“That’s different, they would never believe me. I just-” Klaus had to think about what he actually wanted to say, “Ben was different than us. He was actually close with all of us, so I just thought it would help if I got some advice directly from you guys.” 

“Did it?” 

“Yeah, it helped.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two more parts planned but who knows? I've really liked exploring this idea. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!!


	4. Chapter 4

“A weekly movie night?” Five questioned the idea that Allison and Klaus had brought up the next time everyone was together.

“That could be fun,” Vanya said. 

“What’s the harm in it?” Diego asked. 

“We stopped two apocalypses, and we really have nothing better to do than to sit around and watch movies?” Five said, now pacing around the room. 

“Well, why not have a little fun? We saved the world, we should enjoy it! Ben, you agree with me…” Klaus trailed off, looking mortified, “Shit,” He ran off without looking at anyone else. He didn't even want to know their reactions. 

He was able to make it to his room before fully breaking down. It’s been nearly a month now. And it wasn’t any easier. Shouldn’t it at least be a little better by now? How had he become so dependent on one person?

The worst part was, that's happened before. Waking up in the morning, he would greet Ben. He would ask him what to make for breakfast, what he should wear, who he should talk to, before realizing he was really just talking to himself. 

Klaus heard footsteps that were so quiet they could only belong to one person, “Hey, Vanny,” Klaus said without looking up. 

“Hey, you could be alone if you want, but I could also stay.” Vanya offered. She was careful with her words. 

“Stay, please,” Klaus said, then sniffled. She sat down next to him, leaning against the wall next to his open bedroom door. 

“Can I touch you?” She asked, and Klaus nodded. Vanya took his ‘Goodbye’ hand and leaned against his shoulder. 

“I can’t take this, Vanya,” Klaus said without even thinking, “He was the one good about my powers, even though I kind of forced him to stay with me,” 

“Hey, we talked about this. You didn’t force him to do anything, Ben told me he wanted to stay with you,” 

“Yeah…” 

Klaus would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about that moment often. The first time he ever conjured Ben at his own funeral. It wasn’t until after he convinced him to stay that he thought about what just happened. Had he taken away Ben’s chance to go to Heaven? Klaus hoped he made it. Ben deserved it. 

He was dragged out of his thoughts by a knock, “Hey, you guys in here?” 

“Diego!” Klaus said in his usual peppy tone, “Come join the cuddle party!” 

He rolled his eyes, but it was hard for him to say no to Klaus. Klaus opened up his right arm to him, and Diego joined them. 

“Are you alright?” Diego asked.

“I’m better, just startled myself. Thank you for helping me,” 

“You don't have to thank us, this is what siblings do,” Vanya said. 

“Exactly. We’ll stay with you tonight, whatever you want to do,” 

“Wow, you make one slip up, and everyone is suddenly nice to you,” Diego elbowed him, and Klaus started to giggle. 

Vanya and Diego sat up, “Are you ticklish?” She asked. 

“No!” Vanya and Diego shared the same look with each other, “Don't even think about- Ah!” They both started to poke at his ribs and around his stomach. 

“S-s-stop! I h-hate y-you guys,” After a minute, they both backed off. 

“Aw, you love us,” Diego said.

“It was worth it to see you smiling again,” 

After a little while, the three of them joined everyone else downstairs. It was a little bit awkward at first since everyone was walking on eggshells around Klaus. It wasn’t as bad once they realized that he was doing better than earlier. 

Not only did Klaus’s slip up freak him out, but everyone else as well. The others realized how close they were, even after Ben died. How natural it was for Klaus to talk to him, and include him in conversation. 

They ended up having a movie night after all. Vanya and Diego almost never Klaus out of their sight, but Klaus didn’t mind. He had been focused on one sibling for so long, that it was nice to be with his other siblings for a change. 

Diego’s words finally sunk in that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 4! I had this planned before part 3 so I'm so excited to post this!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! I'm happy to take suggestions as well :)


	5. Chapter 5

Klaus wasn’t sure why he went to Ben’s room. None of them had been in there for years. Just closed and forgotten about. He’d always hated that, but he could never bring himself to go in, either. 

Today, something compelled him. 

The door slowly creaked open, and Klaus was hit with a rush of emotions he couldn’t begin to work through. The room just looked abandoned. There was a layer of dust over every object and piece of furniture. He was slowly walking around the room. Taking in all of the posters, decorations, and clothes they never cleaned out. 

Klaus opened the first drawer on Ben’s desk, thinking there might be a good book. Klaus always loved that about Ben, how he was able to sit somewhere completely quiet and just read. He never understood how. Klaus stopped short. 

On top, there was an envelope that was addressed to all of them.

_ ‘To: My Family’ _

For the longest time, Klaus just stood there, staring at it. When the shock finally wore off, he willed his hands to stop shaking, then took the envelope and nearly ran to the living room. Only Five was there. 

“Everything okay, Klaus?” He asked. 

Klaus held up the envelope, “Where’s everyone else? We need them, now,” 

“Vanya should be here soon and everyone else is around somewhere,” Five responded. 

So, Klaus and Five went around the mansion and found Luther, Allison, and Diego. Half an hour later, Vanya came in and Klaus could finally reveal what he found. 

Klaus stood up, “So, I went into Ben’s room, and I found this,” He held up the envelope, “It’s addressed to all of us, so I didn’t want to open it without all of you here,” He noticed everyone sit up a little bit straighter. 

“Holy shit… he wrote this in 2004,” 

“A year before…” Luther started but trailed off. 

Klaus started to read, “Hi, everyone. If you’re reading this, it means I’m dead. I’ve been struggling with the Horror for a while now and wanted to make sure I left you all something in case. It could happen on a mission, or it could happen in the middle of the night. I can't control it forever, and I want to be prepared,”

Klaus paused. How was he going to get through this? Ben was fifteen years old when he wrote this. Fifteen-year-olds shouldn’t have to do this. They shouldn’t have a ‘just in case’. He continued after Vanya walked over and held his free hand. 

“I know Dad sees us as a team, but to me, we’re always a family first. We’re not perfect, not by any means. We fight constantly, and we’re pinned against each other by our own father. But at the end of the day, we’re there for each other. We help a sibling when we see they need help. 

Inside, there’s six letters, one for each of you. They say everything that needs to be said.” That was the end of the first letter. Klaus handed out the other six letters inside, and everyone became engrossed in their letter.

It took a minute for Klaus to finally bring himself to open his letter. 

_ Dear Klaus,  _

_ Hey. I know your power must make this awkward for you. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to see you. I hope I do. But in case I don't, at least you’ll have this. _

_ I love you. On the day I’m writing this, I’ve never actually said those words to you, but it’s true, and they shouldn’t be left unsaid.  _

_ Remember that night we both came back from individual training? We were eleven, and we both came back to the mansion around the same time. Without even saying anything, we both knew the other wasn’t okay. We didn’t know the extent of the other’s training, but it clearly wasn’t good, and we weren’t going to let each other feel alone. Despite all of the hurt and the pain, it’s one of my favorite memories, because it showed me what our family really meant, and how important you are to me.  _

_ You were always there for me. More than anyone else. It seems like you’re the only one who really understands my powers. You see how brutal it is, and you make it better.  _

_ You like to seem like you don't care. You deflect and make jokes, and pretend you don't have emotions, but you do. More than any of us. No matter what, don't lose that. Don't lose your emotions, and how much you care about others.  _

_ Thank you for helping me. And thank you for being my best friend. I love you.  _

_ \- Ben _

When Klaus finally looked up from the letter, the other five were staring at him. He didn’t run and hide this time. He let himself cry in front of his siblings. Well, he already was from the middle of his letter. And after all, they were all feeling something similar. At one point Diego moved next to Klaus and put an arm around him. 

It was an interesting moment. It was clear that no one was going to share what was in their own letter, but they couldn’t move on from what happened without talking about it. 

“It’s like he knew more about us than even we did,” Allison said. 

“I can’t believe he wrote one for me, and forty-five years later it’s still accurate,” Five said. 

“I just don't understand…” Diego started, “He wrote these a year before he died. He knew what was coming. W-why wouldn’t he say anything?” He finished, then looked to Klaus. 

“Hey, don't look at me, he never gave me a reason. He never even told me he wrote these! But if I had to guess, he didn’t want us to worry. Ben was the most selfless person I knew. And it’s not fucking fair that he felt he had to write us goodbye letters when he was fifteen.”

“We definitely had a fucked up childhood,” Diego muttered under his breath.

“And now we have a chance to make things right,” Vanya said, then held up her letter, “Ben had faith that we could,”

“We are making it right,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it, and thanks for sticking around for all five parts!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it! Stick around, because there are a few more parts after this


End file.
